What Hurts The Most
by XxXxIcePrincessXxXx
Summary: A new songfic. Rypay...Brothersister love. Sharpay centric.


**Hey guys! Here is my new songfic. I just want to warn you...I don't think it is very good...well it is ok but not as good as other songfics out there, but i would LOVE it if you guys read it. This whole story is in Sharpay's POV.**

**Warning: Character Death.**

**Rated T: Death and angst.**

**Note: I don't own anything still...The big awesome mouse owns HSM and Rascal Flats owns the song.**

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

I am not afraid to cry. I cry every night and everyday. In class I even shed a few tears because of how lonely and different class seems without you. The teachers let me take breaks every now and then to take time to let it all sink in. It never works.

_Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me_

I miss you so much. Without you makes me feel so empty inside. I always pretend I'm ok. I am like an egg, hard and solid on outside but soft and teary on the inside. I try to act perfectly ok in school so no one sees my vulnerability. But at home, it is a totally different story.

_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It_

I find it so hard to go through life with the pain and guilt of your death. But I am trying to deal with it.

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

It is really hard to smile or at least force one when I see Troy, Gabby, Zeke, Chad, and Taylor. Even when I am crowded with them…I still feel so alone.

_Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken_

It is still so hard living with the guilt that I was the one that caused your death. I was the one who asked you to drive me to school that afternoon for my homework I forgot. I was the one who put in the cd that caused us both to get crazy. I was the one who didn't hear the car approaching. _**I was the one who lived**_.

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do_

It was so hard that day in the hospital. I was sitting there next to you holding your hand and having hope for you to live. I was hoping that you and I could get the leads in the musical, get famous one day, we would spend the rest of our life together forever. Troy was with me, embracing me in a hug from the back, also having some hope. I was still sitting there when your heart rate dropped and stopped. I was there when your body fell cold. I was there when you slipped away.

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do_

I am standing here at the Albequerque Cemetery and I stand my your tombstone.

**Ryan Lucas Evans**

**July 2nd, 1990-November 19, 2007**

**Loving son, friend and brother.**

**We love you Ryan and we will never forget you.**

I ran my fingers across your name and I sat down beside it and I cried. I cried for a while but I stopped when I heard a sound.

"Shar"

I heard someone say my name. I turned around and my eyes got wide. I saw you standing my a nearby tree with a sad smile on your face. "Oh my goodness! Ry? Is it really you?" I said choking on new tears. "Yea. It is me. I had to come to tell you, try to forget about me. I don't like watching you and seeing you sad and moping around all the time. It saddens me and I don't think you should waste your life like this. You still have Troy and he should make you happy. He is trying to help you and he still loves you and is there for you. I want you to be happy." I stood there and I tried to talk but it came out cracked. "I know Ry, but I just miss you so much." "And I miss you too Shar. But you need to live your life the fullest. Do it for me." I looked at him for a moment and then I smiled. "Ok Ry. I will." "Ok." Then you came up to me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I love you shar and I always will." "I love you too Ry." Then you faded away and you looked as happy as ever. I smiled knowing you were happy.

_Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do_

I left the cemetery and went home and called Troy to come over. I decided to do what you said, live life to the fullest.

**Well there you go! I hope you enjoyed this story!! I spent an hour or two on it. Please review!!**

**Maria**


End file.
